I just finished the book "The Five Love Languages", not because Jeremy and I are having any problems, but because I was curious and my grandma happened to have it in her library. I didn't know this, but she does not like to lend out books from her stash. She loves me enough to have lent it out anyway, but there was a polite warning. She held it very close to her and told me how she knows that I will take VERY good care of it. That's a lot of pressure for a self help book.
I have had a couple of girlfriends tell me that this book is pretty dead on. It was an easy read and oddly enough helped me understand Natalia better. Hello! Bonus. Don't get me wrong, it's not like Jeremy is chopped liver here in Lacow Land, but he and I are in a good place and I've been with him long enough to have a grasp on his personality. I have only known Natalia seven years and let's be honest, she's only really had a solid personality for the past four. Looking back I can see whiffs of her personality when she was a baby/toddler, but it wasn't anything like age three and up.
The good news is all three of us speak the same "love language". I could see how things could get lost in a relationship when you are trying to spend time with someone who wants gifts (you gotta read the book to know the lingo). According to the book, people love in their own language, but need to learn to be bilingual if their "other" speaks a different language. Sounds simple enough. You'll have to let me know since we are all speaking "Quality Time" around here.
I had a little Oprah "ah-ha" moment when I read the small section about children. Here I thought Natalia wanted me to drop everything I was doing and go look at "whatever" because she was an only child. Nope - that's just what we do around here. Come to think of it, Jeremy does that same thing. "Hey, sweet, would you come look at this?" The funny part is that any one of us will drop whatever for the other person, so we can come look at the fascinating object of our love's attention. And here I thought we just all had ADD.
All this got me thinking about how loved I feel around Jeremy and Natalia. My cup runneth over when she and I sit in the park painting together or we all hang out flying kites. I know she feels loved when we show up for her recitals, field days, class parties and karate practices. I prove my love to her every time I snuggle with her before bed, walk to the bathroom with her (yes, at home) because she is scared of being alone, stop to listen to her story about pirates or take time to examine her latest artistic venture. I feel close to my family when we are sitting on the floor playing board games or just walking around the mall. I won't put up any front with you and say I always happily drop everything when these "quality time moments" arise. Sometimes she needs a little too much "love language" when mommy needs the silent treatment.
So this week I got to take a sigh of relief in my normally fretful mommy heart. Natalia will understand how much we love her because we are all speaking the same "love language". Soon she will be grown enough to start up a love conversation with someone else, and it won't be long before she no longer asks "Mommy, can you come be with me?" Nah. She'll always need me to be with her for something. I just hope by then our quality time will no longer involve me chaperoning her to the bathroom.
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