"No" Problem

Sometimes I notice that I want to lapse into the land of "no". It has been a conscious effort ever since Natalia was able to make random requests that I have a good reason why I am saying "no" to something. This means a lot of times I have to tell her I need a minute to think over my answer. It is really easy to just say "no" and keep doing whatever mindless thing I am in the middle of. This ponder was ignited by a Smurf; Smurfette to be specific.

Jeremy and I are on the same front when it comes to how Natalia spends her allowance. She is totally in the infant stages of learning the concept of money and its value. She is allowed to spend her allowance, of course, but she has to put some thought into the purchase and she isn't allowed to deplete her account. She has her own bank account with her very own debit card, since we are a card society. I don't know about you, but I rarely have cash on me because I keep track of my spending better with my card. Her card is in my name, but the bank allows you to add a label to be stamped into it. Natalia was totally stoked when she saw her debit card has "Natalia's Card" stamped right on it. It stays in mommy's wallet.

She told me two days ago that when we had our mommy/daughter day (today) she wanted to buy Smurfette at the Build a Bear. Since I am not a fan of stuffed animals, I started to say "no" and wanted to lecture her about the accumulation Build a Bear paraphernalia that doesn't seem to be played with too often. Instead, I told her I'd think about it and get back with her. Now I only have my own child to go by, but I think it is pretty awesome that she is cool with me thinking it over. She knows that Jeremy and I have been fair with her in the past, so she won't badger or nag me about it until the official judgement day. She knows that even if I say "no", I will explain my reasoning behind my decision. Sure, there are tears shed, hugs needed and time to simmer in her disappointment for a while, but she really does get over it quickly. All that said, Natalia is the proud owner of a Smurfette stuffed "animal" (I'm not really sure what a smurf is, but I hear they are delicious), whom she named Odette.

The other day I started to feel a "no" creeping up on me when she wanted to go outside and paint together. I had to take a moment and remind myself there will always be dirty dishes and laundry, but there won't always be a seven year old who wants to spend time painting together. I knew I would regret my "no" at the water park the other day if I didn't go on the most terrifying water slide ever with her. She had already rode it with daddy, and in the 15 minutes we spent waiting in line, there was never any bloodshed or random amputations. It was fun and I'd do it again. Natalia thought about today's purchase for two days and now is snuggled up peacefully with Odette cradled to her chest. I really didn't have a reason to say "no", and although I wouldn't have regretted a life sans-smurf, I will always cherish the vision of my little girl proudly holding and snuggling the toy she earned.