Natalia's latest and greatest extracurricular activity is basketball and this has been her favorite by far. Better than gymnastics, karate, dance, waaay better than swimming since her eyebrows stay dry. Not only is she tall for her age, but you would think with her still always running and being on her toes she would be a natural sprinter. Well, not so much. In fact it is a blast watching her out on the court because she is having such a great time that she will spontaneously break out into a twirl here and there. It's like her own little happy dance just for being part of the team. Meanwhile the game is kind of going on without her. Oh well - she's more artsy than sporty and she's having fun... most of the time.
I was so totally stoked on a Saturday morning because it was the first time I got to watch her practice. She was all decked out in her maroon and sparkly silver jersey with her kicky pony tale and Nikes. You should have seen her defense. She was all over that girl like a spider monkey - jumping up and down, waving her arms, sticking to that girl all over the court. There was one problem. Natalia was doing everything she could to stay away from the ball. She seriously didn't want to have anything to do with it. Now, last time I checked, the game was called Basketball with an emphasis on the spherical orange object itself. She obviously liked the game Blond Defender much better. None the less, I was still the mom laughing too loud, taking too many pictures, and clapping at every move during a practice session for the "non-competitive Jesus-loves-us basketball program". I'm sure they all figured out that she's an only child.
After practice I told her how great her defense was, told her about cellular demise from dehydration when she refused to drink water, realized she needed to start wearing deodorant before basketball, and asked her what was up with not wanting the ball. This is when my heart broke a bit. She told me that she didn't want the ball because she was afraid she would try to shoot and miss. Ugh. She didn't want to try because she was afraid of making a mistake and said that she thought I would be upset. Well I felt like scum mother dog poop maggot slime.
I lied, because that is what scum mother dog poop maggot slimers do. Well, I didn't exactly lie all the way, I just exaggerated the truth a bit. Are you laughing yet because I am just digging myself deeper, aren't I? Okay, I told her that out of the eight shots that were thrown by the girls, only two made it. I totally made that up because number four is this basketball child prodigy (and she's white!) who can practically throw mid court and make a three pointer. She is messing up my bell curve and my pep talk, so I left her out of my figures. Thankfully Natalia wasn't paying attention to her either (probably because she was too busy dancing and spinning during practice) and felt better that everybody is new to this. So we set some goals. Her goal was to take control of the ball, throw it and miss the basket as much as she can. Yep, miss it. Why? Because then she won't be scared of that horrible monster named Mistake that has her fretting at night and unable to wind down for bed.
My girlfriend Lani and I were having a discussion this week about the difficulty of not stepping in to help your child. As moms we are so used to doing and fixing and solving, but then when they are in the older toddler stage like her little Lael, you have to start backing up and letting them figure it out. Oh, my chest and stomach tighten up just thinking about her predicament. As we talked Lani's nose wrinkled up in that sour "I know I should, but I don't want to" kind of way. It sucks and it is so much harder than just jumping in and fixing it. But then you have to think of the long term: Let them figure out how to manage their own problems now before there are situations that lead to things like "clear blue easy" problems in the future. Yeah, you won't be anywhere near that inner dialogue then so they better have some pretty sound reasoning skills laid out ahead of time. And you just thought it was playground stuff! Okay, let's all pause and get a drink........
What I need now is to figure out a way to show Natalia that I want her to make mistakes, but only if she has tried her best. I don't care if she misses the basket as long as she has gone for the ball. I was more disappointed that she never tried because she was afraid of a failure that never had a chance to even happen. What kills me the most is I am near tears right now because I am the same way. There are times when I have put something off until the last moment because I have doubted my abilities, so I was afraid to start. The book I wrote for Natalia was one of them. I have been wanting to write that book for her for four years, but I was afraid it would turn out so amateur. Now I am afraid to send it to a publisher because of the rejection. Oh pot, thou art black.
Okay, okay. I'll be honest with Natalia about my fears because the best way for her to see that mistakes are okay is to see me make them. We'll even pinkie swear on trying new things, because pinkie swears are a big deal. I know I like order, neatness and perfection, but she really needs to know that somedays I forget to brush my teeth running out the door, I hurt people's feelings because I am mean and sometimes I am too afraid of failure to try. You know what she'll tell me? "Mommy, being brave doesn't mean you aren't scared. It means you are scared and do it anyway." Why? Because that's what I have been telling her all these years and she's super smart. She's all that and a bag of chips.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Locks of Love
Hair is a big deal not only to me, but also to Natalia. Showering is monumental and rather time consuming not because of the act itself, but because our hair takes some management. It's an unruly thing and a force to be reckoned with, but when tamed, it's pretty fabulous. I'm not exaggerating when I say that it takes either one of us around 15 to 20 minutes to get our locks blown out after a shower and we are not the kind of girls who can just wash and go. Since this blog is mostly about Natalia we will stick to simply discussing her hair.
So bathing becomes quite the ordeal when you have to carve out 15 minutes of shower time/singing/My Little Pony time, 5 minutes of Aquafor slathering for her eczema, 8 minutes trying to get jammies on over that Aquafor'd skin, then the hair. She really does have beautiful hair, but holy cow it takes forever to dry. It's this wavy-mostly straight concoction that you must dry or it will totally end up wonky in the morning. And when I say dry, I mean you have to completely dry it - not that "mostly dry so you don't catch a cold" kind of thing. I even go so far as to blow it out with a round brush and it looks amazing for bedtime. Then it gets put into a ponytail, she sweats all night while she sleeps and it needs to be blown out again in the morning, but whatever.
Okay, so those of you who don't have little girls cannot fully appreciate what it is like to fix little girl hair. They don't just stand there for twenty minutes and thank you for beautifying them. Especially not Natalia. Tonight was a total riot. For Christmas she got a microphone on a stand so she had her microphone set up in front of the bathroom mirror while she sang very "Janis Joplin" style and danced while I chased her head around with the brush and hair dryer. It's never a dull moment. Every once in a while she'll let me flat iron her hair which looks so good, but I have accidentally burned her ears a couple of times, so she is pretty wary of my skills. Event hair is my favorite. Last week we curled and set her hair for "My Fair Lady". It was a very big deal and some very big hair. Y'all know how I feel about big hair. Let's all fan our faces beauty pageant style......
I have to say my heart is a little heavy when I conceded to let Natalia have bangs if she gets 100% on her spelling test this week. I'm a little hopeful though because they have words like "ostrich" and stuff. Luckily she has missed it on both pre-tests. I just think that bangs will be such a pain in the morning and will deflect from those beautiful blue eyes, but she has been begging me for almost a year. You just can't come between a girl and her hair though. So here's to all of us girls with our hair spray, hair tinsel, round brushes, color and hair dressers we are practically married to. Also.... here is to Natalia making a 99% on her spelling test tomorrow.
So bathing becomes quite the ordeal when you have to carve out 15 minutes of shower time/singing/My Little Pony time, 5 minutes of Aquafor slathering for her eczema, 8 minutes trying to get jammies on over that Aquafor'd skin, then the hair. She really does have beautiful hair, but holy cow it takes forever to dry. It's this wavy-mostly straight concoction that you must dry or it will totally end up wonky in the morning. And when I say dry, I mean you have to completely dry it - not that "mostly dry so you don't catch a cold" kind of thing. I even go so far as to blow it out with a round brush and it looks amazing for bedtime. Then it gets put into a ponytail, she sweats all night while she sleeps and it needs to be blown out again in the morning, but whatever.
Okay, so those of you who don't have little girls cannot fully appreciate what it is like to fix little girl hair. They don't just stand there for twenty minutes and thank you for beautifying them. Especially not Natalia. Tonight was a total riot. For Christmas she got a microphone on a stand so she had her microphone set up in front of the bathroom mirror while she sang very "Janis Joplin" style and danced while I chased her head around with the brush and hair dryer. It's never a dull moment. Every once in a while she'll let me flat iron her hair which looks so good, but I have accidentally burned her ears a couple of times, so she is pretty wary of my skills. Event hair is my favorite. Last week we curled and set her hair for "My Fair Lady". It was a very big deal and some very big hair. Y'all know how I feel about big hair. Let's all fan our faces beauty pageant style......
I have to say my heart is a little heavy when I conceded to let Natalia have bangs if she gets 100% on her spelling test this week. I'm a little hopeful though because they have words like "ostrich" and stuff. Luckily she has missed it on both pre-tests. I just think that bangs will be such a pain in the morning and will deflect from those beautiful blue eyes, but she has been begging me for almost a year. You just can't come between a girl and her hair though. So here's to all of us girls with our hair spray, hair tinsel, round brushes, color and hair dressers we are practically married to. Also.... here is to Natalia making a 99% on her spelling test tomorrow.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Sleeping is Overrated Anyway
Sometimes you just kind of wake up in your own life. Case in point: My girlfriend Lindsey is six months pregnant and was blogging about having the realization that she was going to be a mother while driving to work. No, she isn't someone who is going to have her baby in a toilet thinking she really needed to take a duke, it's just that sometimes things take time to really sink in. I recently woke up to the fact that Natalia is a little insomniac. It kind of sucks and I have been Ferberizing that kid since day one. When in doubt, blame the other parent's genetics. Jeremy has horrible insomnia problems.
Natalia's pediatrician has been "politely in a judg-y way" reminding me that Natalia is overdue for a physical by a year and a half, so we finally took her in last week. Honestly, I wouldn't have done it if she wasn't having extra horrible sleep stuff problems. Seriously - you are billing my insurance hundreds of dollars to weigh my child and tell her to drink more milk. It's silly. Don't get me wrong, I really like Natalia's pediatrician, I just think doctors are a little overused sometimes. So as I bring up the subject of Natalia's sleeping patterns and I am really listening to myself I realize my kid has NEVER REALLY SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT. Dammit. All that Ferber reading and preaching and I still got the short end of the stick. Guess who's awake now?
Here's how it goes: Natalia goes to bed and we have a normal bedtime ritual. She'll be asleep until around midnight or so, then she'll wake up with a few things 1. Leg pains (growing pains) 2. thirst (we now keep water at her bedside) 3. bathroom (scary at night by herself) 4. sleep running. That's right.... running. Why walk when you could run into the next room while mom is watching a scary movie and scare the bejesus out of her? This is usually accompanied by incoherent mumbling and the sad clown face. Word of advice - don't ever wake up the sleep runner. They freak out and you cannot get them back to sleep for hours and possibly a dose of Benadryl.
Okay, so I return her to bed, subconsciously tell her to return to her paralytic stage of sleep and exit the room. What happens next? She wakes up for real usually because of options 1-3. Those are addressed, she gets anxious about no longer feeling tired and comes in my room every 20 minutes for the next three to four hours until I tell her that I am about to lock my door and she can sleep on the sofa for all I care.
We have had the discussion that her sleep (or lack thereof) is her problem, not mine. I was relieved to hear her pediatrician back me up on this one, which is why I like her so much. I have been coaching that beautiful child for a week during the daylight hours on what to do when she wakes up at night. I even had her go to her desk and write out some ideas of her own and draw pictures. Yeah, yeah - very cheese ball, but I was also trying to make dinner. I'll tell you what: I have fantasized about those "Mommy Dearest" posey restraints to keep her in bed at 3am when she is waking me up for the sixth time.
See, the thing she has on Jeremy and I is that she's an only child and we have nothing to compare her with. We just assumed all children sleep like breastfeeding infants. Granted, it's exceptionally bad right now for some reason and I know it will get better. Yes, I have gone all psycho-babble on her about stress, then all nurse on her with her itchy eczema and leg pain, now I am going all super nanny on her and just laying down some ground rules because I think she is taking Jeremy and I for a ride.
I am not kidding... She just walked into the living room right now babbling on and sleepwalking (not running at least) and I walked her back to bed. See I told you.
Well, I guess sleeping is overrated and a small price to pay for being a mom of a fabulous daughter. Besides, She stays at Jeremy's parent's house the nights I work and I get uninterrupted sleep then, so I can't complain too much. Talk about being slow on the uptake though - I seriously just realized last week that it's probably not normal that my seven year old doesn't sleep through the night.
Natalia's pediatrician has been "politely in a judg-y way" reminding me that Natalia is overdue for a physical by a year and a half, so we finally took her in last week. Honestly, I wouldn't have done it if she wasn't having extra horrible sleep stuff problems. Seriously - you are billing my insurance hundreds of dollars to weigh my child and tell her to drink more milk. It's silly. Don't get me wrong, I really like Natalia's pediatrician, I just think doctors are a little overused sometimes. So as I bring up the subject of Natalia's sleeping patterns and I am really listening to myself I realize my kid has NEVER REALLY SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT. Dammit. All that Ferber reading and preaching and I still got the short end of the stick. Guess who's awake now?
Here's how it goes: Natalia goes to bed and we have a normal bedtime ritual. She'll be asleep until around midnight or so, then she'll wake up with a few things 1. Leg pains (growing pains) 2. thirst (we now keep water at her bedside) 3. bathroom (scary at night by herself) 4. sleep running. That's right.... running. Why walk when you could run into the next room while mom is watching a scary movie and scare the bejesus out of her? This is usually accompanied by incoherent mumbling and the sad clown face. Word of advice - don't ever wake up the sleep runner. They freak out and you cannot get them back to sleep for hours and possibly a dose of Benadryl.
Okay, so I return her to bed, subconsciously tell her to return to her paralytic stage of sleep and exit the room. What happens next? She wakes up for real usually because of options 1-3. Those are addressed, she gets anxious about no longer feeling tired and comes in my room every 20 minutes for the next three to four hours until I tell her that I am about to lock my door and she can sleep on the sofa for all I care.
We have had the discussion that her sleep (or lack thereof) is her problem, not mine. I was relieved to hear her pediatrician back me up on this one, which is why I like her so much. I have been coaching that beautiful child for a week during the daylight hours on what to do when she wakes up at night. I even had her go to her desk and write out some ideas of her own and draw pictures. Yeah, yeah - very cheese ball, but I was also trying to make dinner. I'll tell you what: I have fantasized about those "Mommy Dearest" posey restraints to keep her in bed at 3am when she is waking me up for the sixth time.
See, the thing she has on Jeremy and I is that she's an only child and we have nothing to compare her with. We just assumed all children sleep like breastfeeding infants. Granted, it's exceptionally bad right now for some reason and I know it will get better. Yes, I have gone all psycho-babble on her about stress, then all nurse on her with her itchy eczema and leg pain, now I am going all super nanny on her and just laying down some ground rules because I think she is taking Jeremy and I for a ride.
I am not kidding... She just walked into the living room right now babbling on and sleepwalking (not running at least) and I walked her back to bed. See I told you.
Well, I guess sleeping is overrated and a small price to pay for being a mom of a fabulous daughter. Besides, She stays at Jeremy's parent's house the nights I work and I get uninterrupted sleep then, so I can't complain too much. Talk about being slow on the uptake though - I seriously just realized last week that it's probably not normal that my seven year old doesn't sleep through the night.
'Twas the Night Before Christmas
I think I love Christmas because I am really a theme junkie. It helps me focus if I have a theme. Parties, vacations, decorating, holidays... whatever. I love a theme. Except Valentines Day. I'm not sure why, but that day annoys me to no end. Just writing that makes me angry, and Jeremy gets me cute cards and gifts, so it's not like he ruined it for me or anything. Lovable theme or not, all holidays come with baggage and pressure. A big problem has been this adult space/time continuum thing. No one adequately explains that the older and happier you get, the faster time goes. Now I say things like "only three months" and genuinely panic because it is just never enough time. Christmas snuck up on me like a ninja. I even had it on my Google calendar, dammit!
This year for Christmas I got a little over zealous, but I think I pulled it off and the only casualty was the Christmas cards (which I still totally blame on Snapfish who ruined my timeline). Thank goodness I have a little girl who loves to be as crafty as I am because she is now at the age where she is actually helpful instead of an adorable disaster. She loves a theme too so we make quite a team. Together we made Christmas goodies, but most importantly we made the goodies presentable. For her big Christmas present this year I redecorated her room and she helped roll on the paint with me and my friends from work. Yes it would have been cool to go all Extreme Makeover with it and keep it a secret until Christmas, then have this grand unveiling; but who am I kidding. I barely pulled all this off. Oh, I also wrote and illustrated a children's book just for her. Yeah, I went a little over board this year. By the way, both turned out fabulous.
Since it is Christmas Eve and I had to work, Jeremy and Natalia came by the ER to visit and drop off some cookies and coffee. Natalia brought her new toy - a pretty awesome remote control helicopter which she is already better at maneuvering than me. That's one of the perks of weekend nights in the ER - you can get away with some quasi controlled shenanigans. It was hilarious watching this helicopter fly around the nurses station and all of us laughing and ducking while she and I were trying to control the kamikaze. It's a good thing that sucker is tough. Natalia also got to pick out a gift from the box of toys that the paramedics had dropped off earlier. She and I sat on the floor rummaging through wrapped toys because you can't just make a rash decision when it comes to stuff like this. You really have to consider your options.
I can't even begin to explain how it feels to be at work where it is so busy and nerve wracking, then to suddenly have a piece of home with you. It's probably because I'm tired, but sometimes having Natalia so separated from me pulls harder than other times. It's weird. They start out you, then inside you, then out of you but still attached to you most of the time, but then they spend the rest of their lives detaching themselves. I know that is what I am working towards, but sometimes it is a harder tension than others. I feel those brief moments of closeness that only a parent can know and it kind of hurts. Anyway, back to Christmas.
Forgive me as my mind wanders through this blog. There have been a lot of less than ideal amounts of sleep lately and I just finished an ER shift. I still have a couple of gifts to wrap since it is Christmas Eve and there are stockings to stuff. Tomorrow I get to shut off the rest of the world and just be with my favorite people, playing Rock Band and watching "It's a Wonderful Life". They are the ones who think I'm pretty in my pj's, the one's who make my life a joy and who treat me like I am the best gift ever. God's grace and love are never more apparent than when we are together. It's tangible, palpable and I love it. Merry Christmas.
This year for Christmas I got a little over zealous, but I think I pulled it off and the only casualty was the Christmas cards (which I still totally blame on Snapfish who ruined my timeline). Thank goodness I have a little girl who loves to be as crafty as I am because she is now at the age where she is actually helpful instead of an adorable disaster. She loves a theme too so we make quite a team. Together we made Christmas goodies, but most importantly we made the goodies presentable. For her big Christmas present this year I redecorated her room and she helped roll on the paint with me and my friends from work. Yes it would have been cool to go all Extreme Makeover with it and keep it a secret until Christmas, then have this grand unveiling; but who am I kidding. I barely pulled all this off. Oh, I also wrote and illustrated a children's book just for her. Yeah, I went a little over board this year. By the way, both turned out fabulous.
Since it is Christmas Eve and I had to work, Jeremy and Natalia came by the ER to visit and drop off some cookies and coffee. Natalia brought her new toy - a pretty awesome remote control helicopter which she is already better at maneuvering than me. That's one of the perks of weekend nights in the ER - you can get away with some quasi controlled shenanigans. It was hilarious watching this helicopter fly around the nurses station and all of us laughing and ducking while she and I were trying to control the kamikaze. It's a good thing that sucker is tough. Natalia also got to pick out a gift from the box of toys that the paramedics had dropped off earlier. She and I sat on the floor rummaging through wrapped toys because you can't just make a rash decision when it comes to stuff like this. You really have to consider your options.
I can't even begin to explain how it feels to be at work where it is so busy and nerve wracking, then to suddenly have a piece of home with you. It's probably because I'm tired, but sometimes having Natalia so separated from me pulls harder than other times. It's weird. They start out you, then inside you, then out of you but still attached to you most of the time, but then they spend the rest of their lives detaching themselves. I know that is what I am working towards, but sometimes it is a harder tension than others. I feel those brief moments of closeness that only a parent can know and it kind of hurts. Anyway, back to Christmas.
Forgive me as my mind wanders through this blog. There have been a lot of less than ideal amounts of sleep lately and I just finished an ER shift. I still have a couple of gifts to wrap since it is Christmas Eve and there are stockings to stuff. Tomorrow I get to shut off the rest of the world and just be with my favorite people, playing Rock Band and watching "It's a Wonderful Life". They are the ones who think I'm pretty in my pj's, the one's who make my life a joy and who treat me like I am the best gift ever. God's grace and love are never more apparent than when we are together. It's tangible, palpable and I love it. Merry Christmas.
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