I am a firm believer that everyone needs direction, a hobby, a purpose - something. I know that when I am idle, I just feel so blah. Now that we are in the throws of summer and Natalia finished up her summer camp, I realized that she too, needs a purpose. Hence the birth of the "Natalia To Do List". It's not quite as horrible as it sounds, then again, I'm not seven.
You see, Jeremy and I have started on our summer back yard project. I won't bore you with the details of how this is the second time we have "re-done" our back yard in the four years we have been here. I was trying to take on tree-hole-digging when Natalia started to hover, then she started to whine, then I decided to put her to work so she would have something concrete to whine about. Remember that from our parents? It totally works. I'm sorry, but as cliche as that phrase is, it has been kid tested and mother approved.
Here is the deal: Natalia gets paid $7 a week as her allowance. While she is in school, she earns her allowance by attending school, doing homework, and cleaning up after herself at home. Oh, and basic hygiene. Now that school is out, not only does she have more free time, but she also has to EARN her money. Granted, some of the chores on her list are there for my sake, like: "No whining or throwing tantrums" and "Be independent - you must try to do something three times before you ask for help". The other stuff are real chores, and she totally sucks at them. At least she does right now, but she'll catch on. When Jeremy and I got married he totally sucked at chores too, but there was a longer learning curve. While I wouldn't have called him an "old dog" when we got married, it took him a while to efficiently turn some new tricks, like cleaning, vacuuming, and noticing the clutter all around him. I'm hoping that since I have started early with Natalia that she will pick it up sooner than age 28.
The first time I made this magical chore list, she was so excited and felt so proud when she was finished. She went around the house with her little list in hand and checked things off as she went along. Of course, she checked off the whining/tantrum one first, even though it was still the beginning of the day. She was true to her check mark that day. Since we only do a big chore day once a week, I can tell you that the enthusiasm has worn out now that we are in week three. I knew it wouldn't last, so it's not that I am upset or anything. I just have to tweak the game plan to try and keep things fresh.
I had to step in and help her with the play room this week since it wasn't just a cleaning thing. We went through every cubbie and went all "Clean House" with it. She is really good about getting rid of toys she no longer plays with or has grown out of. She likes the fact that a beloved toy will bring happiness to another little girl. Isn't she sweet?! At some point I think we had the entire contents of her play room in the middle of her floor. I now know where her socks disappear to. I mean, why wouldn't you stash your sock in the play dough cubbie? I tried to coach her along, but left her to her own devices. She couldn't do it. She got so overwhelmed that I found her just sitting on the floor singing to herself. It was a Natalia version of Kanye's "Golddigger" (which she thinks is about picking noses). After I threw a gentle mommy tantrum at her, I went in to help her. She just needed some direction, a purpose if you will. She was more than happy to clean up and organize her own stuff, she just didn't know how to execute the job.
I don't know, I may be deluding myself, but I don't think I rescued her from the perils of Tuesday chores. There are plenty of times even as an adult that I have been overwhelmed and just needed a friend to come around and give me some direction. Hell, that is how I am feeling about the pergola project we have undertaken. It's a delicate balance in parenting to let Natalia struggle without exasperating the child. I am not so delusional, however, that I don't know when she is trying to work me over and get me to do something for her. She does that a lot.
Let's face it, she is in the learning phase when it comes to chores. This means that I have to go behind her when she goes to sleep to re-load the dishwasher and tidy up her bathroom. You would think that my child just split the atom as I congratulate her for a fabulously completed chore list. While I expect her to be able to put things away in my OCD cubbies I have in every drawer and closet, I don't expect her to be a young Martha Stewart. The important thing is that she is an active and responsible member of the family. All hail the "Natalia To Do List".
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