Skating Through Life

It's a big deal for our family to plan an outing every week. We call it "family day" and it is sacred. I have to admit that Jeremy is really the creative director behind most of our outings for this weekly ritual. Our scheduled events not only entertain Natalia, but they pull Jeremy and I out of our adult routine and into some play time. This week we went ice skating, then headed over to the candy store to load up on sugar. Natalia polished off 80% of a gigantic caramel apple. I was impressed since the thing was almost the size of her head and I thought most of it would go to waste. Nope. That's my girl. I had also told her that when I was little I lost a baby tooth to the tenacity of a caramel apple. She repeatedly had us check her grill to make sure her teeth were present and accounted for. You will be relieved to hear there were no dental casualties that day.

Now, I think I've mentioned this before, but ice skating is not one of my favorites because 1. Grace and balance are not my strong points, 2. It's cold and finally 3. Do you know how hard ice feels when you land on it? There's no Downy softness about it. I think the time before this one there was a blood stain on the ice. Seriously, I'm not just trying to be dramatic. Natalia has had two rounds of ice skating lessons and really does just fine. Well, she does about as well as Jeremy and I do. The thing is, she wants to hold a hand because it makes her feel more confident. Now again, my own balance is sketchy, let alone trying to assist her when she's almost as tall as me. It's a bit trickier now than when she was a shorty barely out of toddlerhood. So this time she mostly held daddy's hand and the difference in hand holding vs. freestyle skating was huge. This is what got me thinking.

If Natalia had an analytical adult mind she would see that Jeremy and I "helping" her is more of a liability than a stabilizer. When she would skate on her own with us flanking her to protect her from the speed skaters, she was slow and kept grabbing onto the wall. When she held our hand, she was off to the races and charging ahead. I had to push it to keep up with her. Her trust and faith in us is pretty amazing. I spent a lot of time encouraging her to let go and be confident on her own, but now I wish I would have kept my mommy badger to myself. Someday she won't even ask for us to hold her hand so I think I am just going to enjoy the hand holding for as long as I can.

When it was time to go, she asked if she could skate around the rink a few times by herself while Jeremy and I waited for her on the bleachers. She went around three times on her own, with each time peeking out the door as she slid by to make sure we saw what a big girl she was. There is no doubt in my mind that our little bit of hand holding went a long way. She became confident to let go, and I became confident that I have a child who wants to let go - when she's ready. One of my big mommy worries is making sure I am raising a little girl who will be confident, independent and able to go out and claim her spot in society. I worry a lot. I think I'll work on jacking it down a bit and save my neurosis for something a little more worthwhile, like when she starts dating or driving.

So, here are my hands all ready for holding. I may not be able to keep us both from tripping up, but being present is really what it's all about. You know what really makes me super happy? Natalia has a parental team who is ready to carry her through, flank her for protection and sit it out so she can do it on her own. That is what skating through life is all about.