Most of my good friends know that I am not a big fan of Natalia's first grade teacher. I have to admit it wasn't very mature of me to re-name her Ms. Viola Swamp from one of Natalia's favorite books "Miss Nelson is Missing". Thank goodness Natalia has not told her teacher. That would make for a very awkward parent/teacher moment.
My stress from this teacher is bitter sweet. I get that she doesn't want to coddle the first graders, but I am thinking she has forgotten what it means to be six. Most of the class still believes in Santa and take naps on the weekends. I like the fact that she makes the kids accountable and I am a big fan of consequences that match up to the actions. What I don't approve of is the way she comes across to Natalia. Now, I don't want to be one of those delusional parents who think everything her child says is of biblical standing, but I think Natalia has had some pretty valid points as to why she is upset. I had this Pollyanna view of elementary school teachers being patient and loving. Someone who I send my little boogerface off to, who will not only teach her, but inspire her. That has not been my impression of her first grade experience.
My lemons to lemonade stance on this year has been this: you won't always like your teacher or boss, but you need to stick it out and do the best you can. (Can mom get a little vodka with this lemonade, please?) No one expected this of me until I was in high school. This is what I am asking of my six year old and I have to say - she is kicking ass. Tonight she went over "her big girl words" with me to confront her teacher. I want Natalia to always know she has a voice worth hearing and not to let anyone dampen her spirit. The world can't make you a victim if you know your voice counts.
Tonight Natalia threw a tantrum for an hour over homework before she could sift through her emotions enough to tell Jeremy and I what really upset her today. I guess we are doing a pretty good job because I know a lot of adults who have no idea where their tantrums are coming from. She even apologized for taking things out on us. Again - I see a lot of adults who struggle with this. Obviously I have had enough therapy to pass this along to her, even if I can't always walk that walk.
My mommy neurosis involve my conflict with knowing which struggles will make Natalia a better person, and which ones will just jack her up. There are no scenario specific parenting books for Natalia 101. My belief is that as long as she knows that daddy and I have her back, she will get through just fine. My prayers are usually me repeating "God, please don't let me freak out, please don't let me freak out, please don't let me freak out...." As she gets older the struggles will hold more weight and I will continue trying to make that lemonade out of those lemons.
Seriously, someone please pass the vodka.
I am saddened to hear about Natalia's teacher woes. My family experienced something similar a few years ago. My oldest son had a difficult year with his sixth grade homeroom teacher.
ReplyDeleteMatthew's teacher reveled in exerting her dominance over the students. She seemed to take particular interest in white males and school administration was no help. She was, in large part because of her own race, an implacable bully.
I said, "Son, some times you just have to keep your head down and your mouth shut. You will have to deal with people like this for the rest of your life: It might be another teacher, college professor, or, some day, your boss... All you have to do is hang in there 'til May and we're done with her forever."
Natalia, I'm on your side!