So, I am thinking this is going to be a blog that I won't want to show Natalia until she's a bit older. It has to do with her language evolution and a shocker she threw out there to Jeremy and I on Tuesday night. Let me set the stage for you. Natalia has had some time off of school since last Friday and so have I. You know what this means.... Late nights and lots of family time. By Tuesday night she had been staying up late every night since Friday, we had just had our Thanksgiving celebration the night before with lots of family and friends over and as you can well imagine, it was catching up with her. She was totally out of sorts and Jeremy and I weren't helping things along at all. We had a Groupon for dinner and she was all over the place at the dinner table - totally unlike her. Then we decided to hit a couple of stores and I promised her a craft for the next day since I left for work at 10:30 and Jeremy would be sleeping for another hour or so. Well what was next to the craft store? A couple of home stores all decked out with Christmas-y stuff. I mean really, who could resist? Then TJ Maxx was open until 9:30, which was totally, like a sign we should go there, right?
Okay, so as parents we had pushed the limit of a tired, overstimulated, off her schedule, off her rocker, totally labile child. She actually does really well in spite of her Natalia style meltdown. They are really tame compared to some other parent's stories I've heard, so I can't complain. She was playing hide and seek in the middle of the clothing displays while I was trying to look for sweaters for her when she knocked a couple of sweaters off the hanger. As frustrating as that was, she took it upon herself to hang the sweaters back up and apologized, all the while laughing in that creepy "I'm about to lose it any second" kind of way. I got frustrated and said "Okay, let's go. You are being a pest and need to go to bed." That was it. She didn't protest, we found daddy and left the store. Might I add without spending a dime, thank you very much.
Natalia spends the drive home quietly playing on Jeremy's phone, we pull into the driveway and then she lets it fly. Okay - be prepared for some potty talk because I am quoting my child and even I will blush as I type this. "Mommy made me sad because she said we had to leave the store because I was being a pussy!"............. Oh My Gosh.
First of all, I don't even want to say the name of the movie "Puss in Boots" because it's embarrassing let alone use the "P" word ever. Jeremy knows this, so we looked at each other and tried not to laugh at my sweet cherub using such a vulgar word. Jeremy asked her to repeat herself just to make sure we heard her correctly. Ya know, every once in a while your kid will say something that sounds like a cuss word, but she was just mispronouncing something or making up words and has no idea what she said. I ignore those. Nope. She repeated this verbatim. I asked her if she knew what it meant. Okay, now when she was complaining about my rudeness to her she was loudly bawling and carrying on. All of a sudden she realized that something was up and clear and calm as could be said, "No. What does it mean?" It's amazing how she can turn off the drama so quickly when she wants to.
So here is another one of those panic moments when you have to think quick on your parental high heels. This is my explanation of cussing to Natalia: Cuss words are usually bad words to describe potty words. We were watching TV (a prime time show on ABC, mind you) a week before and they said the word "ass". She knew right away that was a cuss word and told me she won't say that. I told her that "ass" is another word for butt, the "sh" word is another word for poop and the word "pussy" (ewe!) is another word for a girls potty or vagina. These are the cuss words I knew she was already familiar with. Jeremy pipes in and says that there are different cuss words for other boy body parts too. She wanted to know what those are, but increasing her inner obscenity thesaurus was not the point of our conversation. I told her that cuss words are ugly and that no matter how beautiful someone is on the outside, if they use ugly words it makes them appear ugly. She was right on board with this and told me that it is is the things people say and think that makes a person beautiful. Okay, see me fanning my face with misty eyes all proud mama, beauty pageant winner style right now.
Since I knew she had that concept down, I told her that the best thing to do is to always find clever words to describe something without having to cuss. Jeremy told her that someday she will want to say ugly things because some of her friends will talk that way. This is yet another one of those times when she looks at us like we are poor pathetic parents who have a combined IQ of about 100, but she tolerates us anyway. She assured us she will not fall prey to the potty mouth peer pressure. I told her that there are always funny words she can use instead and told her that instead of the "P" word she could use peekachoo. Whoops. Why the whoops? She thought this word is in fact hilarious and she is so proud to use this word for the rest of the night. Picture my darling seven year old dancing around the house in her undies laughing and singing "I'm shaking my peekachoo, I'm shaking my peekachoo." That was not the point I was going for. Jeremy just looked at me while trying not to laugh and simply says "Nice job."
You may be wondering where my little piece of human perfection heard this nasty word. I blame the playground. You just cannot insulate your child from other children and whatever they pick up from their families and older siblings. I assume the kids who pass this information along to children as young as this have tween or teen siblings. It's fascinating fodder for a second grader and must be passed on at recess, even if that child has no idea what any of that means. Jeremy and I are not cussers. Well, I have to admit an "sh" word has spewn from my mouth all Exorcist style a couple times when I have been pulled over by police and Natalia was with me. Of course, the words "stupid" and "hate" are also bad words in my house and I am also guilty of those a time or two. I can assure all of you that the "P" word is not a part of my vocabulary, and since Natalia obviously had no idea what she was saying, she didn't get in trouble or yelled at for her obscenity. Just a loving "coming to Jesus meeting" about cuss words and to please not say it again, ever.
Cursing seems like the absolute character foil of who I think Natalia is. I know there are so many worse things that a person can do, but she is such a sweet, thoughtful, intuitive and sensitive person that hearing such blatant ugliness come out of her mouth is down right shocking. I'm glad that she gets the point that what we say determines how people see us and can take away from our outer beauty. That tells me that I'm doing a good job - okay, I'll give some props to Jeremy too. We are doing a good job. I know that it was ugly and I sure as Hades didn't want to condone it, but oh my gosh was it hard not to laugh. I'm glad it happened in a dark truck with her in the back seat because Jeremy and I almost lost it. My sweet little angel and that beautiful potty mouth. Lord help me.
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