All the Pretty Things

I was hoping in my mommy delusional kind of way that if I raised Natalia with a consistent loving father and a family that placed importance on her inner strength I could avoid her being pre-occupied with her looks. It made me slightly panic and cringe the other day when she told me she wants a "skinny belly" while getting ready to step into the shower. I assured her that she is a normal size and most importantly everyone is built a special way. I also assured her that God doesn't make mistakes, so she is perfect just the way she is. Hello, my name is Shauna and I'm a total hypocrite since I really don't practice what I am preaching. Well, such is parenting.

I am convinced this thought process is genetic in nature, not just to my family, but to girls in general. I remember being her age and wanting my mother to tie the sash around my dress extra tight so I would look like I had a "skinny waist". Mind you I was seven. Natalia told me a few years ago that she wanted a belly like the Disney princesses. I had to explain to her that these were just cartoons and no one should ever have a waist smaller than her head. Besides, where would you keep all your internal organs? I'm pretty sure Ariel has only two feet of bowels, which means she suffers from constant diarrhea. Poor Ariel.

Now, I am not shady about the fact that I have had plastic surgery. I don't think plastic surgery is any more fake than upgrading the exhaust system on my car. Is my car less of a Mustang because I now have a Flowmaster Super 44 exhaust system with chrome pipe tips? Hardly. As a mater of fact, it's pretty awesome and has a fabulous growl to it. That being said, I know there are people that totally overdo it and end up the equivalent of Geo Metro with too many "upgrades", so the car is strange at best. Natalia knows that I have had breast implants and I was honest in telling her why. I was a fully grown adult who could afford my modifications and wanted bigger boobs. Bottom line. I still love them and they look great, which in turn makes me feel a little more self confident. I would like to say that I feel fabulous on brains alone, but I'm a horrible liar.

The tricky part of raising a girl is the dance of inner beauty vs. outer beauty. I think both are important. I let her know that I work out to be healthy, but that I also like the way my body looks when I am consistent. It is important to be kind to people and take their feelings into consideration, but it is also important to look your best self when you are out and about. Please put emphasis on "your best self" which means ya work with what ya got.

Natalia and I have already had a conversation about body types and the difference between my body and hers. I have said many times over that Natalia is all Jeremy for looks, and all mommy for attitude. She is going to be much taller than me and her body has an athletic build to it. She is like Jeremy in that they both have natural muscle tone that they barely have to work for. I on the other hand would be a doughy concoction of bones and skin if I didn't work out. Natalia and I looked through one of my magazines and I explained to her that a lot of the models in the magazine were totally unhealthy and that all the pictures were lies anyway. With the advent of airbrushing and photo shopping, there are no real human pictures in magazines anymore. How odd is it that when a celebrity has their untouched photo in a magazine, that is the big heading. When did normal become so abnormal?

I'm hoping that coaching Natalia along the way will save me from trying to convince an emotional teenager that she is fine the way she is. Is she going to throw it in my face that I have had plastic surgery? Of course she is. Not only is she a proficient back talker already, but her memory is uncanny. I want her to be fit, hygienically sound and not look like she just rolled out of The Sanctuary. However, I do not want her to obsess and nit pick her looks constantly - like I do to myself. That is the hypocritical part. I don't want her to feel she has to say something negative about herself to fit in with girly banter in a crowd. All you girls know how it is. Heaven forbid you actually love something about your self. The other girls will think you are a conceited snob instead of someone who is content just the way she is. I'm not saying all girls are like this because some of us have evolved past high school. It's the bad apples who spoil it.

So Natalia, here is what mommy wants you to know: A pretty face and a cute body will only get you so far, and even that is short lived. Enjoy your beauty, but make sure you have the inner stuff to back up that gorgeous face. Your kindness will make your skin glow and a genuine smile is always your best accessory. Never hide your intelligence because you are afraid people will treat you differently. There is no reason why you can't be a knockout and a brainiac at the same time. Feel free to wear lip gloss and have your hair set while you are formulating how to split the atom. Being pretty does not make you dumb any more than being smart makes you dowdy. Make sure that you make life choices based on what it means to you, not to someone else. That is just sage advice all around, not just for looks. God made you just right, but I understand if you want to tweak a thing or two. Just remember not to go overboard. Not only are you beautiful just as you are, but you don't want to end up looking like that weird Geo Metro.