Natalia has had her own way of doing things since, well, even before she was born. I was around 35 weeks and she was very comfortable with her head nestled under my liver. The doctor said "Oh, she'll turn around. There is still time." I knew better. My gut instinct told me she was going to do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted to do it. I was right. I spent two weeks practically standing on my very pregnant head trying to coax her into a less surgically friendly position. No dice. When we realized she wasn't moving, we scheduled the C-section. That was another joke. She came a week earlier than we had planned. She needs to do things in her own time. I say that, but I don't always get it.
Potty training was another issue of man vs. Natalia and me trying to nurture control over her nature. You can bring a toddler to the potty, but you can't make her go. I tried everything: Potty in the living room, talking potty (kinda creepy when the batteries were low), stickers, candy..... Forget it. After weeks of stressing and trying to keep up with the competitive mommies I decided to just put her back in diapers and give us both a hiatus. Eventually she came around - in her own time, but with the help of chewing gum rewards.
I will spare you every mommy story I have stored in my heart, but after six years I think I am finally able to pick up on a theme. This week Jeremy and I went to bat for Natalia against her first grade teacher. Nah, it wasn't that dramatic. Her teacher seems like a reasonable and caring person. I still stand by my previous blog, though. I think her heart is in the right place, but her delivery is all wrong. She had a few great ideas to help Natalia when she is feeling overwhelmed. The entire panel agrees that Natalia is really sensitive, and while I don't want her treated with freaky kid gloves, I do want her teacher to be aware. Six is a little young to be so frustrated. I explained to her teacher that Natalia may seem to struggle with some things a bit longer than the other kids, but to give her time. When she finally gets it, she's totally got it. She needs to be guided through her struggles, but champion them on her own.
Right now we have started teaching her to ride a two wheel bike. Jeremy was taught to ride a bike by having someone push him along and to peddle like mad. That makes for a very nostalgic scene on TV, but the reality of that method causes a lot of screaming for little control freaks. My dad tried that with me and I shooed him away. I learned to ride my wonder woman bike in the driveway by myself while singing songs from the movie Grease 2. No, that is not an appropriate children's movie. Natalia has tried to learn both ways and prefers to learn on her own, sans the singing. We hold her a bit and guide her around the corners, but she will get it eventually when she is ready.
Isn't that the true role of being a parent? We can push our children, stand on our heads, bribe them into action, but that is more us than them. I find that when I am trying to push Natalia to do something it usually has more to do with my insecurities and fears than her accomplishments. The beautiful art of being a parent is to lightly hold on to them, guide them through the tough stuff, and wait for them to champion their struggles in their own time.
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