Please Don't Chase Boys like your Mom did: A Proposal Story.

The part of my parenting that is "do as I say, not as I do" I would like to chalk up to imploring my worldly wisdom to Natalia. As Maya Angelou stated "Now that I know better, I do better". I love her, God rest her soul. 

This is the story of how Jeremy and I came to be an official "thing". I'll take the "official" once step further and tell you how I convinced Jeremy to propose to me. Jeremy doesn't really like change. If his life is going really well, it takes a lot of convincing to get him to make a big move that would create a shift in the matrix. Natalia, this is how the proposal for daddy and I came about:

Daddy and I had dated off and on throughout high school. This in itself is a long story that I will tell you about when you are older. It's cute. At the end of high school daddy and I were exclusive after I convinced him to start dating me again. This is an important part. I went after him. Had I not, you would not be here and I would not have had my "happily ever after". The summer after our senior year of high school I left for college in Nashville, and daddy and I carried on our long-distance relationship. After a year and a half of school in Nashville I decided (that I was out of money) to move back to Georgia and go to school locally. I didn't have a car, so daddy came to pick me up and move me back home.

I had been TELLING daddy that he was my "one" for a year. The one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and who I wanted to marry. I also let him know that I would like to get engaged and that I was getting a little anxious that our relationship was going on two years with no promise for the future. Daddy and I had been friends since we were 14, so he knew that once I set my mind to something, there was no swaying me. At one point he told me to relax and that he had it under control. 

When he came to pick me up we loaded up my small amount of stuff into his mom's red Nissan Sentra. All the boxes and garbage bags of clothes were loaded and I was making one last sweep of the room and saying goodbye to my friends. When I was in the room, daddy started in on this monologue about how we have been friends for a long time and that he thinks I'm this great person...... He's not really a great speech person when he is nervous. I kind of started to tear up because he sounded like he was breaking up with me. Then he got down on one knee. This was the moment that one of my dorm mates walked by the doorway. She gasped, squealed (because that is the noise that teenage girls make), and then ran off to get my other friends. Can you imagine this was before social media and cell phones?! We actually had to tell people in person or talk to them on the phone about our engagement. Crazy, I know. 

There is one thing about this story, Natalia, that I really would like you to steer away from. I don't know why, but I guess it has to do with the way I was raised. I was always taught to "let the boys chase you". I actually adhered to that advice with every boy except daddy. Well, except Sam in kindergarten. I chased

him all around the playground. There was a point where I had broken daddy's trust while we were friends, so I had to really work to convince him to date me again. Once I realized that he was the guy I wanted, I had a singular goal and evidently he couldn't resist me. I love that. 

I just took a personality test for one of my classes and I fall into the "Idealist" category. According to the studies, only 15% of the population are in this personality group. I mean, there are a lot of idealistic people, but your mom is pretty far on the spectrum there. No, I'm not delusional, but this is why I am such a Pollyanna. Here is why it helps me and what I want to pass on to you. If you have a dream there is really no reason why you can't just go after it. Daddy was my dream and I chased after him until he succumbed to my charms. I decided I wanted to go to college out of state so that is exactly what I did. I owed my soul to the government for a while in the form of student loans, but I did what I dreamed. I decided within a month's time that I wanted to be a nurse practitioner so I filled out the application and here I am, mastering along. One of the doctors I worked with was surprised that I only filled out one application for one school. He asked "What if you don't get in?" My response in all sincerity was "Why wouldn't I get in?" This is the way your mom thinks. Things just work out. There is always a parking space available near the front if you take the time to look for it (this is an inside family joke).

Okay, back to boys. It's hard when you are starting to realize that you want boys to like you, but you don't want to be the girl who is the only one doing the "liking". Here's my advice: Know what you want, but make them work to understand the kind, smart, funny, quirky girl behind that beautiful face. Beauty will only get you 5 minutes, brains makes up for the other time. There is nothing wrong with being pretty, but you better have sustenance to back that up. You are fortunate to be naturally pretty, so find a boy who will tell you how smart you are and genuinely mean it. Your parents know it. We don't even bother to Google the facts you give us anymore because we know you are right. Math is not your forte, but math isn't the end-all of intelligence. Find your dream, set your mind, go get it girl.