Okay, so this topic is soooo 5th grade, but at the end of the year came the dreaded human growth and anatomy class. Like, the very fist one of her life! I don't know why, but the thought of this class totally stressed her out. I could just imagine her expecting the teacher to walk in naked- flashing a vagina and boobies to the whole class, or something. I mean, it was so nerve wracking for her that she really wouldn't even elaborate on what freaked her out about the whole ordeal.
I have been spoon feeding anatomy and "the talk" to Natalia for years. I'm a nurse so I think it is important for a girl to know what is going on and what to expect. Have you read Stephen King's "Carrie"? The catalyst for the ultimate spaz out started because she had no idea who Aunt Flo was. No daughter of mine is gong to turn into some telekinetic psycho killer. Not on my watch.
When Natalia was going into kindergarten I realized that there was going to potentially be boy "penis talk" somewhere in her future. Not necessarily in kindergarten, but on the bus or wherever. I asked her "Hey babe, what is the difference between boys and girls?" and she replied "Boys have short hair." This was my segue into our first conversation where I explained boy anatomy. She bounced back with "You mean like a little hot dog?" Jeremy was passing through the room at that moment and just shook his head and kept going.
Fast forward to two-ish years ago. Our favorite friends were pregnant with their first baby and Natalia asked how the baby got there. Like any normal person who hears this story from their parents for the first time, she immediately regretted the question. Props to me, though, for keeping it all "nurs-y cellular", instead of "when a man loves a woman". I did use this opportunity to encourage better hoo-ha hygiene. Evidently she says she is too busy to wipe sometimes, so she just sprinkles and sprints. Can you imagine the stress of our children today that are so rushed for time that they just can't stop to wipe? Yeah, me neither. Gross. I told her she needs to wipe because nobody wants a baby coming out of a dirty vagina. She was mortified that I would even say that, but not enough to slow it down. She's getting better.... I'm lying. It's a problem. Gross.
Okay, so the other day Natalia came to talk to me and I knew it was going to be good because she had a couple of false start attempts. When she finally got the courage she told me that she has started to get boobies. I had kind of thought I saw a little something the other day, but she has been layering all of her shirts lately. I was so excited! See, the reason moms get excited over that stuff is because we are all like, "Oh my gosh! I made those boobies!" In the bigger picture, boobies mean all-out puberty, which means she has started wearing deodorant. She still acts aghast that we ask her to shower and tries to negotiate for a different day, but at least she is deodorizing. THAT I can say we are progressing in the right direction.
We were sitting together the other day waiting on Jeremy to pull the Jeep around and she randomly said "Getting older is weird because your body is changing so much. It's awkward." Transitions are tough for her. She really needs a "heads up" any time she is about to move on to another thing, so the lack of control over this annoys her. She tells me all the time that she really likes being a kid and doesn't want to grow up. I love the fact that she is 11 and acts 11. She has a couple girls in her class that are 11 going on 17. Natalia has no desire to be one of them and I am totally relieved.
On a really funny note, I had the first glimpse of her flirting the other day. It was the most awkward thing Jeremy and I have ever witnessed. Jeremy said that he kind of wanted to give her advice not to fart in front of boys you like when you are video messaging them, but then he decided not to. We both agreed that we will worry less if she is burping and farting in front of the boy she likes, rather than trying to be "cute".
At least she feels like she can talk to me and ask me questions. I don't
remember having any specific conversations with my mom when I was little. I picked some of it up in school and some of it up in romance novels. Natalia and I did talk for a nano second about having boyfriends. I told her my first boyfriend was when I was 12 (gasp) and that I wish I had waited until I was older. As of right now she agrees. She is still at the point where she thinks boys are kind of weird and gross. At the same time she sees other girls feeling validated because a boy thinks she is pretty. That is kind of hard to resist too. I try not to get all crazy and preach about how she should feel that she is good enough all on her own. Let's be real, I like to be told I'm pretty too! Besides, I tried to preach and she literally told me to calm down and stop making a big deal over it. It's the equivalent of slapping a hysterical woman. She snapped me out of it. If I freak out, then she won't tell me stuff any more, or worse, I won't be able to watch her awkward flirting video chats anymore. And then what would I blog about?! That would be tragic.
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