Fabulous by Association

My New Years resolution has been to not ask questions that I really don't want the answer to, and it has been working really well for me. Yes, you can categorize it as somewhat denial-esqu, but seriously, it is pretty awesome. Let me explain: You know when you can just tell that you have made your spouse mad? I no longer ask "Are you mad?" because I don't want to know the answer at that moment. I just wait for him to come to me about his frustrations, which gives him a chance to gain some perspective - ie cool off. How about "Where you just talking about me?". Nope. Don't really want to know because that is one of those questions that unless you really know your friend, you probably aren't going to get a truthful answer anyway.

This brings me to today's topic: Surround yourself with people you aspire to be more like.

When I started at St Al's in 2007 in the ER I was amazed and intimidated by the nurses there. They were so smart, medically articulate, and knew their stuff. I mean, my first week one of the nurses was giving a blood transfusion to a trauma patient in the hallway. Holy cow. It was so different from the Susie White Bread hospital I came from. That, and I had only been a nurse for two years. Over the years, because I stayed with those saints, I absorbed a lot of knowledge and learned how to speak like a real nurse. Over the course of that time I also learned to cut out the fat and I don't mean liposuction. All those toxic "friends" and family got nudged out. You know, the people who take and take emotionally and never fill your cup up. Yep, trimmed out. 

At my work now I have people around me who work out like fiends, love it, and can find a positive twist to almost anything. They also bring extra lunch for us all to try and give gifts just because. It is such a giving group. They inspire me to be more thoughtful, especially since "Receiving Gifts" is not my love language. 

Today when Jeremy was consoling me out of a bad day ("Words of Affirmation" is my love language) I asked him if I was as supportive and uplifting to him as he is to me?  He answered "I learned it from you." Awe. How perfect. Not only is he a cutie patootie of a husband, but he is also the kind of person I

would like to be someday. We have been friends since we were 14 and I have learned a lot about not being such a brat, how to tell if I'm heading North, West, etc - not the child, the direction, and the importance of taking time out to just be with each other. If I had it my way, I would retreat into solitude much too often. He also reminds me to cut myself some slack sometimes. I get a bit too wrapped up in perfectionistic ideals.

My mini-me is also an inspiration to who I want to be someday. I've told her before that someday I hope to be more like her. Then she tells me I'm the best mom ever and she wants to be just like me and never move out. I have mixed emotions about that one since it is a great pipe dream when she is 10, but a bit weird when she is 32... and tries to bring in cats.... and an abundance of "As seen on TV" items. I mean, who doesn't love a shake weight now and again, but it is much more fun when it comes from someone else's house and wallet.

Natalia reminds me to have faith just like a Disney movie where things really always work out, family is the place where you go to rally, and clothing really doesn't have to match. It doesn't have to be perfect all the time. Sometimes I wear two different socks because that is my mental reminder to just let loose. That's right people - I am THAT wild and crazy some days. Okay, lets all sing a little "Let it Go"....... We all feel much better, even if the over 30 crowd only knows 1/4 of the words to that song.  

There have been times when I feel a little guilty getting a pep talk from my 10 year old, but that is what family is all about. We build each other up and sometimes let the other person know they need to go to time out. She will play with my hair, tell me I'm awesome and show me a little sunshine on a cloudy day. Ooooh! Sing that one too. It's a good one. Everything in my life turns into a song eventually - just ask my co-workers.

Well, here I am, home on a work day because my knees wouldn't stand for another moment of hauling gurneys (pun intended) and I was told that I need to make some big life decisions for the sake of my health. What?! I am not super human?! That's crap -  I mean poop, because Natalia reminds me that "crap" is a bad word. I was hoping that a knee replacement would be a fix to all my problems until I saw my own x-ray today which shows a lot of bone loss and was kindly told that my legs are two different sizes. Dammit, I hate asymmetry. Oh, I mean "darn it all".

So Natalia came and patted me on the head to tell me that she is sorry I can't do the job I wanted. She also told me that dinner was terrible and she is totally right. Fried rice should be left to the Chinese restaurants, not Lacowland. My friends have been praying for me and facebooking words of encouragement and my sister made me laugh and told me that she is still

coming out to visit, surgery or not. The bright side to all this is it is a chance to show Natalia that it is alright to have faith and make sure you surround yourself with a positive team of people who make you strive to be a better "you". This is hard since all I want to do is mope, and cry and feel sorry for myself. I've been robbed, I tell ya. But since I have surrounded myself with people who do better, I'm going to vent then build a little bridge and get over it. I'm also not going to ask God if it is going to get worse before it gets better since I really don't want to know the answer to that. See that! Sticking with my New Years resolution like a good girl. Bam!