Making Time for Daughters

I don't even have a witty title for this one. This is going to be a stretch right now since Natalia is currently unloading the dishwasher (between fits of tears) because her attitude needs to be adjusted and manual labor is as good as anything else I could think of at the time. That, and let's be honest, I just hate unloading the dishwasher. I mean, seriously folks: It's one of many perks having children. Labor sharing.

Last week during bedtime Natalia disclosed to me that she feels like she and I "never" have time together. In my mommy mind I'm like "We spend tons of time together at home, getting things done and our weekly fun outing." After I got out of my own head I decided that what she really needed was some one on one time. Even though the house needed to be vacuumed, the laundry needed to be done and I needed my own quiet time; I decided that I would take a day for a mommy daughter date day. I'm so glad I did.

On a sobering note, our first stop of the day was to St. Lukes PICU to drop off some food to the family of Ally (Aly) Defur. Aly was a gorgeous 4 year old who was pinned in an auto accident and sadly, her little brain did not recover. The day we dropped off food was the day her family did one of the most difficult and noble things a parent could ever do: They decided to take her off life support and allow her to be an organ donor. I don't think most people really understand organ donation. It's not just a liver or a lung. It's connective tissue to repair worn out bodies in pain, eyes to help someone else see when you no longer need them, kidneys to gift years onto someone else's life, and a heart to a child who's parents were daily wrestling with the thought that this day may be their own child's last. It's such a great gift, and a hard decision to make. Aly's mom blogged while these events unfolded, hoping for a miracle, but seeing God's grace through it all. I highly recommend you check out her blog for Ally Defur. It definitely changed my perspective on priorities. 

After our meal drop off, we were on for our mommy/daughter date. First stop, Chik fil A of course. This was Natalia's pick and she even shared her waffle fries with me. Of course, a Chik fil A trip is not complete until we take a selfie and send it to Jeremy to make him jealous. After that we headed over to the Boise Art Museum with our sketch pads to sit on the floor together and draw, talk about perspective in art and laugh at all the boobies there are in the museum. There are a lot and boobies are funny.

We finished off our date with a little paddle boating. Now

those of you not from Boise are missing out. These cute little boats are really fun and make for some good conversations. I remember doing these when I was a kid, but usually I was stuck with my brother and we just fought the whole time.

Now the activities were fun, but the conversations were better. At Chik fil A I let it slide that I have Natalia's teeth in my top drawer. A post on facebook let me know that a lot of mothers keep their child dentition indefinitely. I also realized that I have a hoarding problem when it comes to teeth since I also have 2 of my own baby teeth in the drawer as well. She didn't miss a beat and asked "Why do you have my teeth if the Tooth Fairy takes them?" Busted. She actually let me stutter along for a good 2 minutes of explanation before she lets me know that she is well aware who takes her teeth. She's good. She's really good. We laughed so hard that people were staring. Then we walked out like a couple of divas with our matching over sized sunglasses. 

The paddle boats had the best conversations though. I just threw it out there that Vampires were Zombies with better skin. Both are undead cannibals. My little conspiracy theorist pondered that over and totally agreed with me. She then broke it to me that she wasn't really my child after all. You see, she is part of the triangle people and Jeremy and I are just her earthly parents. I tried to tell her that Jeremy and I were secretly triangle people, but she wasn't buying it. Then the conversation abruptly changed when we saw a dead goose floating next to us. Girly screaming ensued from both of us. Speaking of geese - those suckers are aggressive! We spent a lot of the time paddling hard core to get away from them once our left over waffle fry stash was spent. They love waffle fries, but then again who doesn't.

That night Natalia let me know it was the best day ever. I couldn't help but

think back to Aly and her own mother. Would I be grateful for the time we shared, or would something like that make me bitter? Could I find God's grace or would I blame Him for "robbing" me of my dreams? I don't know and I hope I am never held to that test. What I do know is that laundry is forever, but nine only last one year. What is Natalia going to remember more? A OCD clean organized house, or lunch with mom followed by sketches and paddle boats? From all the clutter that lies in the wake of Natalia, I'm thinking she doesn't really give a fig about the house. I know that she adores me even on nights when she has to unload the dishwasher. She has already stopped crying, moved onto Barbies in the playroom, but not before she flipped over the back of the couch to give me a kiss and tell me she loves me.