Sensible Beauty in the Motherhood

I admit it. I care what I look like almost all of the time - except when getting Natalia to the bus stop and there, I am pretty shameless. But for the most part, I try and look at least presentable in a sort of fabulous kind of way. I remember when I got pregnant I had this Scarlet O'Hara moment of declaration: "As God is my witness, I will never be frumpy again!", and I made it a point to look cute while I was pregnant. Not so much the first month after she was born, but they travel lighter when they are in utero. Here I am the mother of an eight (soon to be nine) year old, working full time, pimping out Girl Scout cookies and still trying to be a shadow of that fabulous presentability. It gets harder, not easier mommies, just so you know.

My girlfriend Kay suggested that I share some of my beauty tips, cheats, and not so secrets and I thought it would make for a fun blog. Here it is:

Hair

One of the best tips I got from a magazine is if you are in a rush, just fix the front of your hair around your face. Now I'm not talking leave that bed-head rats-nest in the back. Girl, brush that out. But do take what little time you have to fix your bangs or hair by your face. Another great shortcut tool is velcro rollers. Dry your hair and while it is still warm, roll it up in some of these. It saves your hair a beating from hot tools and adds volume. Those of you who know me know how I feel about big hair. The bigger, the better. While we are on the subject of damage control: Girls, stop washing your hair every day. "Gross, I work out every day (really?! I'm going to inspect your mom card) and I have greasy hair." To that end, let me introduce you to dry shampoo. Just don't spray it on the top. Lift up the crown section, spray LIGHTLY, and shake it through with your finger tips. No damage, it smells good, grease absorbed, voila. Make that blow out last you a couple of days. I wash my hair maybe 3 times a week and no one has commented or been offended. My stylist did, however, mention that my hair seemed less damaged between cuts. 

Ah, the haircuts. NEVER spend more than $40 on a cut. If you are, you are being ripped off and need to network with your girlfriends a bit more to find out where to go. Color is a different matter, that gets pricey I know, so don't be spendin' your hard earned cash on the cutting of dead hair. I overheard someone saying she pays $90 for a cut. A cut! It was not uber chic and my girl Desirea can do a better job for a better deal. I can give you her number. Use your money on worthwhile products like Moroccan hair oil. Oh, but look for it at Ross/TJ Maxx before you pay full price. We are being sensible, remember?






Makeup

This should be a rule listed on the box: If you are over 33 years of age, you can no longer wear Bare Minerals. Why? It totally settles into lines and makes you look older. I know, I know. I am totally guilty right now because I have some left over from when I was in love with how easy it was to brush on, but please, trust me on this. Find something that doesn't pill up when you blend it and apply with a makeup brush. Yes, there is a specific brush for that. Just goop a pea sized amount on the back of your hand and apply it only where you need it. Let some of your natural skin peek through. It looks better than that cake-like made up face. 


Ask yourself "Do I have the tools necessary to do my job". It's my favorite question on our yearly work survey because in the ER we break all of our toys within a week of getting them, so they are rarely replaced. My answer at work is always a resounding "No!". With my makeup, however, this girl has the basics to get it done. I bought my brushes for $12 at Walgreens. This way when they are all gooped up (who has time to wash them weekly?) I will just toss them and not feel guilty. I am on the same brush set for 2 years and occasionally wash them. My girlfriend Amy had me show her how to play with some eye shadow and I was mortified she didn't have brushes. She was making make up application WAY more tedious than it should be. Get some brushes and play, play, play until you are comfortable. I recommend using your child as a model for this, unless it is an infant. That would be weird. If you do, please send me a picture because that would also be very funny.

So what about when I am running out the door to pick up Natalia? Here are

my options: look like a washed out terminally ill, possibly alien mom; or dab on some lip stain (love Revlon's Just Bitten in Honey), pinch my cheeks for some color and curl my eyelashes followed by a swipe of mascara. Girl, a little effort is better than that alien mom look. I'm not saying go full glam all the time, but as sure as cheap wine gives me a headache, I will run into someone I know every time I venture out looking like a hag. 



Nails

Have you heard about nail stickers?! Busy moms know we ain't got no time for wet nails. Now there are two big contenders out there for these fabulous inventions: Jamberry nails sold in the Scentsy sort of fashion and require a hair dryer to set; or my personal favorite Sally Hansen - no dryer needed. Now the secret to these is the prep. If you follow the directions they will last you about 10 days. Now I admit I am too cheap to splurge on professional or at home gel nails kits. Y'all will have to remind me how fabulous they are and someday I'll ask for it for Christmas or something.

Skin Care

While I am cheap on somethings, other things I believe are worth the cost. Botox is one of them. Why? Because it is instant gratification and makes wrinkles DISAPPEAR! There is always a catch, or if you are a fan of "Once Upon A Time", a price with magic. You have to be cool with needle sticks to the face (it's not bad and I am a wimp), you have to start early before the wrinkles have time to really set and you have to get it redone every 4-6 months. I'm not kidding when I say I "Dave Ramsey" budgeted this into our life. To offset this cost, I go el cheapo on my other skin care stuff. That being said, look up info on coconut oil. That is the moisturizer of choice for both Jeremy and I. I know it sounds like a greasy mess, but it is actually a solid that absorbs so quickly. Now, my southern girls who have moisture in their habitat may not reap as many of the benefits as us arid climate girls. It is $10 for a jar at Wal-Mart and as long as you keep it out of the light when stored, it will last for months. 

Since I am blessed with both wrinkles and acne I have learned a couple of pimple tricks along the way. Afrin-like nasal spray or Visine will take the redness and some of the swelling out of a blemish within about an hour. Also, I am a die hard Neutrogena fan when my skin is acting up. Their "calming" line doesn't do a lot for my nerves, but it does help the pimples heal within a couple days. Short of getting cortisone injections into those, that's really the best you're going to do. Hours to erupt, days to go away. Cruel, but something we must live with. 

Fashion

Check out these cartwheel skills!

I am guilty of many crimes of fashion (ie jammy pants at the bus stop. Yes, I am THAT mom). I will say this, black yoga pants go a long way. I saw something on Pinterest that said "Yoga pants: Maybe I just worked out, maybe I just took a nap." Usually it's because I have just taken a nap (yay for school age kids) or I have convinced myself that wearing the yoga pants alone will inspire me to work out at 10:30 pm that night after a bowl of cereal and a glass of wine. Either way, it is a more fabulous alternative to jammie pants or sweats. While we are talking sweats: Thank goodness the trend of slogan writing across the bedonkadonk is over. The word "juicy" has lost all glamour and appeal. Our children will look back on those ads and laugh, as they should. 

So there you go. These are my tricks, credos and short cuts. Some of you may start talking about inner beauty, the importance of brains and other such traits to which I give you this: You don't see brains across a room or as a first impression, but beauty will only give you 5 minutes. After that you better have some brains to back up that fabulosity or you are going to be irrelevant, no matter how pretty you are. Just ask Megan Fox. That being said, there is no reason why we can't put forth a little effort. I know my husband appreciates it as much as I appreciate his man-scaping and smelling good. Like I respect my car by keeping it clean and polished, I respect myself by looking as polished as a trip to Wal-mart or a 12 hour shift will allow. You'll stand a little taller and smile a little brighter while you rock your dry shampoo'd, sock bun, lip stained, yoga pants self.