So, my shocking parenting moment came last week when I noticed Natalia was throwing out a few first signs of puberty. Yes, I will spare you details, but trust me. These are objective, not subjective in nature and of course inner mommy panic has set in just a tad. So what did I do? Well of course I am not going down this road alone, so I tell Jeremy. He just gives me that deer in headlights look as Natalia is running naked across the house because she left her pajamas in her room and bath time took place in our wing of the house. Later that night he lets me know that all things biologically girly in nature are my responsibility, then he cleaned the house from top to bottom that week. That's a pretty fair trade off.
Natalia's first question was if she was going to get her menstrual cycle now. Good Lord. I told her that puberty is something that slowly evolves, but that I was hoping she had a few years before that evolution would start up. Now did she use the word "menstrual"? Of course not, she used the word "period" and the only reason she is privy to such info is from an unfortunate mother/daughter bathroom experience when she thought I needed to go to the ER for exsanguination due to an untimely start. It will always be a creepy and taboo discussion, no matter what age, so I try and keep it as "normal" as possible. It's still horrible, but I won't tell her that. She'll deduce that on her own. By the way, God puts babies in mother's bellies if she asks. She is seven, after all.
I have been looking at other girls with a hawk like diligence lately. I'm trying to see if Natalia looks any different than other girls her age, or I guess if she looks any different than she did two weeks ago when I was blissfully ignorant. Although I know better, I did some Googling and read up on some dreadful diagnosis regarding early puberty, brain tumors, premature closure of growth plates and other such downers. Then I relayed that to Jeremy because he is my partner in worry and "we" decided to just call her pediatrician and set down the Google.
Natalia told me that she doesn't want to grow up because she likes being a kid. That made me really happy in that "fill your soul" kind of way. How amazing to have a childhood that you love being in and a part of. At basketball tonight I saw Natalia make this funny face and instantly I recognized that face from a picture we took when she was a day old. How funny that I can still see my baby in that little girl. We were sitting in the mommy chair tonight because she had a particularly bad day. I was explaining to her that we are God's children and she told me that I was more like God's teenager. She's too funny. That's when I explained to her that I can still see the baby I first met in the face of my little girl. She teared up and said "That makes me sad because I am so happy. Thank you mommy for saying that." That is her way of saying she was crying tears of joy. I never would have thought that when I looked at her face at a day old that I would see the face of my daughter. At the time I only saw "a baby". Now I realize she has been there all along because she is who she is.
I know myself enough to say that I will continue to freak out as she grows because that's just me. By God, I will bring Jeremy along for the ride on this crazy train. In my heart I know that every milestone brings on another fun parenting adventure, but, honestly, I was just getting settled into this one and I wanted to hang here for a while. As much as I would like the universe to revolve around me, I'm pretty sure it just doesn't. I will say that it is a comfort to get a glimpse of my baby from time to time and know that she is and has always been my daughter.
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