I would make a horribly frustrated schizophrenic. I just wouldn't be able to handle all the chatter. Ask any mother and she will tell you that being a parent is mentally exhausting starting at about age 18 months. Ask any mother who's child started talking earlier than age one and she will say "What? I'm sorry I wasn't listening." See, I had all these ideas rumbling around my head about a witty or heartfelt blog for this week, but POOF. It was gone the moment Natalia got her snack on. This was all the fortitude she needed for an evening of button pushing, question asking, tear jerking, apologizing, mother hating, mother loving, more question asking, screaming, bipolar kind of evening. It's amazing all she can get accomplished in four hours. I know that schizophrenics hear voices that sound like they are coming from outside of themselves, but do the voices demand their full attention and answers to countless questions? I thought this "why" phase was supposed to be an endearing quality of the terrible twos. We'll just call them the schizophrenic sevens. The title itself sounds like it could be a horror movie. I would play the zombie mom.
Just so you'll have a reference point, here is a sample of the types of conversations (if you would even call it that) that have me fried and longing for 9:30 when I KNOW she will be asleep:
Jeremy: What's the name of the new (cruise) ship?
Me: The Dream.
Natalia: What? What did you say?
Me: I'm sorry babe, I just can't answer another question for at least 5 minutes.
Natalia: Why?
Me: I don't know why. Please just ask daddy.
Natalia: Daddy! What was mommy talking about?
Jeremy: What do you mean?
Natalia: WHAT WAS MOMMY TALKING ABOUT?!
Jeremy: I asked her what the name of the new ship was.
Natalia: What is it?
Jeremy: The Dream.
Natalia: Oh, I thought she said "green", and I didn't know what you guys were talking about. Why did you want to know the name of the new ship?
Jeremy: Because I couldn't remember what it was called.
Natalia: Mommy? Can I have a dessert?
Me: I'm still not answering any more questions. It hasn't been five minutes yet.
Natalia: Why?
You get the picture.
Heaven forbid Jeremy and I try and have a conversation. Not only does Natalia need to add her two cents and tell us whether or not we are mistaken about whatever, if she is listening with only half an ear she asks so many questions that we end up repeating the whole conversation for her and forgetting the point. Yes, we are indulgent parents and include her in our conversations instead of telling her "This is an adult conversation and children are to be seen and not heard" like my parents told me. I learned to listen more carefully if I wanted to know what was going on. I can feel my eyes glazing over by the end of the night because I just can't answer another question. I swear if I was a newborn I would be fast asleep and in a fit of hiccups from total over stimulation. Zzzzzzzzz *hiccup*.
If I had to attest to Natalia's greatest strength (aka superpower) it would be talking. She is very articulate and curious. She is also intuitive and will ask deeper questions than you anticipate (or are ready for) even when you try and keep the conversation cryptic and child appropriate. I wouldn't put money on it, but I'm pretty sure she started talking in understandable English around nine months old. She hasn't stopped since. She was communicating well before she could walk, so that sounds about right. I remember her being in a stroller and still drinking formula when a stranger said "Wow! I can actually understand her." We've never talked "baby" to her, therefore she talks very adult (or her version thereof) back to us, or at us depending on her mood. Oh help me baby Jesus with those moods. Another blog, another time.
When I'm not totally fried from an emotional and exhausted little boogerface I will concede that I love our conversations and how I can talk up to her. She is able to tell me about her first grade gossip, emotional state of the union, dreams, plans for tomorrow, how much she loves me and how happy she is to be a part of the family. I'll read over this in another week and I'll giggle when I think about how my mind became numb because I couldn't take any more of her questions. It will be endearing. I'm her go to girl for answers to the world. She and I will both get some much needed rest tonight and I'll charge up with some Dunkin' Donuts coffee for another day of questions and conversations, but mostly more questions.
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