Kick 'em back, bubbie!

I'm sure I'm not the only mom who wants her child to be the better version of herself. If we are really being honest, I would rather Natalia be just like Jeremy. She is this amazing combination of the both of us that only God can genetically put together and not have her turn out weird. I am learning that the hardest part of parenting is to not freak out when I notice my less desirable traits surfacing in my mini-me. 

I totally remember being "boy crazy" as young as age five. His name was Sam, he was in my kindergarten class and he kissed me on the cheek at recess. Now, only being the mother of a little girl, I cannot attest to the gossiping skills of boys. Natalia is a pro at giving daddy and I a detailed description of the emotional aspects of her day. Today's first grade soap opera was the fact that Zachary has a crush on her. The rationale for this is when they were playing Star Wars, he didn't "kill" her; and when it was group time in class and she didn't have a group, he invited her to join his. Hey, at least she is logical with her reasoning. Jeremy and I smile, but we are both secretly sweating when we picture her as a hormone-laced teenager. The key to parenting is being a duck - smooth on the surface, paddling like hell underneath.

Her other crush involves Orlando Bloom. Yes, the actor. Specifically the Orlando Bloom from Pirates of the Caribbean. This was cute until she was crying one night because she isn't sure what to do about her feelings for him (I'm not exaggerating. Thank goodness Jeremy was the parent at bat that night). Jeremy and I also exchanged looks when she told us that she had googled him, wrote him a letter, and sweetly left her contact information which includes her address and my cell phone number. Being "The Protector" that he is, Jeremy wants to have a talk about not giving out our personal information to strangers. I know that Natalia will argue that he is not a stranger because she has seen him on TV. I told him to save that talk for when she can construct a proper sentence and not spell half the words phonetically.

Another one of my (many) faults is how I hate doing things that I am not good at. Natalia is the same way. Again, "The Protector" wants her to be able to do some ass kicking should the need arise. I swear she is the only student in her Kenpo karate class who sports a pink flower hair clip pinned behind one ear. She surprised us both because for being such a princess, she has really taken to Kenpo. That being said, she hates getting hit. I feel the same way: please let me wail on you, but don't hit me back because it is uncomfortable. Tonight she got kicked in the thigh by this little hood rat while they were sparring. The studio room is small, so when I say out loud "Kick 'em back, bubbie!", I'm pretty sure all the parents around me can hear.  I was hoping that a switch would flip in her little mind and she would go ninja on his little orange belted bootie, but instead she started to cry. Not just a little lip quiver and tear roll - a full on ugly cry. She could barely catch her breath and I caught site of myself in the studio mirror and I was red in the face. I wasn't red with embarrassment, I was red with anger. I know that I am a mean momma bear and really have to rein it in when anyone hurts my child. It will please you all to know that I didn't jump off the wooden bleachers and pound the kid who made my sweet little boogerface cry. 


What makes me feel good as a parent is that after she caught her breath, she went back out on the mat to finish her class. Don't get me wrong, she was done with sparring. She bravely stood at her place, finished her push-ups and saluted out. It is times like this that I realize she inspires me to be a better person. Her bravery pushes me to find my place, finish my push ups, and salute out in a way that will inspire more people around me. Hey, moms are works in progress too.